Villains' Day Out
by Darkpenn
Summary: Roman Neo vs Ironwood & Winter


**Villains' Day Out**

 _Roman + Neo vs Ironwood & Winter_

 _[Author's note: this story follows the story_ Return of the Prodigals _. It was written without knowledge of what might happen in Volume 5.]_

Neo stepped over the bodies of the Atlas soldiers, her open umbrella on her shoulder. She gave a little smile.

"Well done, my pretty one, well done," said Roman. "Say, do you like my new cane? The improved model." He gestured at the burn marks and craters on the walls of the control room.

Neo nodded, and smiled again, and gave her umbrella a twirl before closing it. She set to work on the computer console, and in a few moments the massive door to the vault of Mantle Academy swung open. They entered the first chamber. There was a door at the far end.

"According to the instructions of the charming Madame, the relic should be in the next room," said Roman. He looked around. The walls of the chamber were covered in writing: spells, incantations, hexes. Their message was: _no further._

"Oh, these kids today, putting their graffiti everywhere," said Roman. "Really, the authorities should do something about those brats." He looked more closely at one of the blocks of text. "Ah, this one I know," he said. " 'Glynda Goodbitch was here'."

Neo giggled. She opened her umbrella as Roman lifted his cane. He fired. Bolts of energy smashed into the walls, scorching the surface. He turned and continued to fire. Pieces of stone came loose and whirled around the chamber, but Neo and Roman sheltered under the umbrella.

Eventually, the debris and smoke cleared. The incantations had been blasted away.

Roman and Neo dusted themselves off. "Oh, you missed some," he said to her. He wiped a smudge of dirt away from her cheek. She smiled.

They went through the door and found themselves in another chamber. In the centre of the room was a table, and on the table was a polished metal box.

"Hmm," said Roman. "To tell the truth, I was expecting something more ... relic-y."

Neo shrugged.

There was a rumble from the other side of the room. An elevator. There was a _ding!_ and the doors opened.

"Don't you just love elevators?" said Roman. "They always make that sound. No matter how dire the situation, how close the world is to complete destruction – and it is starting to get very close indeed – you can always trust an elevator to go _ding!_ Such happy machines."

Out of the elevator stepped General James Ironwood and Officer Winter Schnee.

"Glad to see you!" said Roman. "I do hope that we are not keeping you from anything important."

Winter looked at Roman. "I had been informed you were dead," she said.

"I was, but it got better," said Roman. "My employer needed a thief, and my lovely companion here needed some sugar."

"So no longer dead, but still an asshole," said Ironwood.

"A half-truth, at best!" said Roman. "I should warn you that my employer has given me some upgrades. Think of me as Torchwick 2.0 . And I have come for your, er, box ... thingy. So step aside, General Bonehead and ... well, I can't immediately think of an appropriately insulting term for your girlfriend. Look, I've been away, cut me some slack."

"You are aware, are you not," said General Ironwood, "that if Salem unites the four relics she will have the power to destroy the world?"

"Yep."

"And you are willing to help her in this insane plan?"

"Meh. Let me tell you, General, being dead for a while changes a man. Which reminds me, what do you think of my new hairstyle? And the hat?"

"You look like a particularly deranged clown," put in Winter.

"That was uncalled for!" said Roman. "Now, we will have to fight! Which, I suppose, was going to happen anyway. But, still."

Winter gestured, and a large glyph appeared. Out of the glyph charged dozen of Grimm creatures – but glowing-white rather than coal-black, and under Winter's control.

Roman lifted his cane and fired, again and again. Bolts of energy smashed into the oncoming stampede – and in a few moments all the creatures had gone. Evaporated.

"Now don't try and tell me that that wasn't cool!" said Roman.

Winter drew her sword and dagger. General Ironwood drew his revolver.

Neo pulled her blade from her umbrella. She smiled.

The four of them looked at each other. Then Roman said: "Well, let's go, then."

Winter conjured a glyph, leaped onto it, and then launched herself at Roman. He fired a shot at her with his cane but she knocked it aside with her sword. She slammed into him, sending him spinning.

General Ironwood was firing at Neo, but his bullets could not pierce her umbrella. She cartwheeled across the room, trying to get close enough to use her sword. She struck out at his arm, meaning to knock the gun from his hand –

And struck hard metal. She looked up in surprise.

And then General Ironwood punched her.

She landed next to Roman, but the two of them were up and racing forward again in a moment.

General Ironwood fired. Roman blocked the bullets with his cane, knocking them back, and for a few moments there was a fury of ricocheting metal around the chamber. Then the General's gun clicked on empty. Face-to-face now, the two of them traded punches.

Neo, with the blade in one hand and the folded umbrella in the other, swung at Winter, who parried, blocked, and thrust. They each leaped into the air, and for a moment were suspended, as metal clashed against metal.

Roman jumped back as the General took a fresh clip from his belt. Roman raised his cane – and then shouted in pain as Winter's dagger, thrown from the other side of the room, stabbed into his shoulder.

He pulled the dagger from his flesh. Immediately, the wound began to close.

"Huh," he said, watching it. "How about that."

Winter, with only one weapon now, was being pushed back by Neo. Neo was more agile, and she had learned from fighting with Weiss that she had to stay on the attack, not giving her opponent the chance to conjure any glyphs. So she slashed and stabbed and kicked and punched, a cascade of lightning-fast blows. She swung with the umbrella, and Winter blocked it. Neo raised her blade –

And then General Ironwood fired at her, a volley of bullets.

But Neo managed to turn her umbrella to deflect them. A ricochet punched into Winter. She gasped in surprise and staggered back, bleeding from a chest wound. Neo delivered a series of savage, looping kicks, and she went down, knocked out.

And now the General, having fired at Neo, was out of position in his fight against Roman. Roman took advantage, wielding his cane like a club, aiming at the neurotransmitter on the General's forehead. The blow connected, and General Ironwood cried out. He fell.

Roman glanced at the fallen Winter. "I've got it!" he said. "Über-bimbo!"

Neo stared at him. She gave a little sigh.

"You're right," said Roman. "They just don't work if they're late."

They went to the table and looked at the box. Roman picked it up. Immediately, it began to shake violently, as if it contained a small but savage creature.

"Wow," he said. "Who would have guessed that Knowledge would be so feisty?"

Winter gave a moan. Her eyes flickered open. She reached out for her sword. Neo kicked it away. She raised her blade.

"Wait!" said Roman. "My dear, don't you know that it is dishonourable to slay a fallen opponent? So ... you shouldn't." He aimed his cane at Winter. "But as it happens I'm totally alright with it. And I owe her for the dagger thing." He looked down at Winter. "Any last words?"

She stared up at him. She started: "F – "

He fired.

Neo looked at him, and then glanced at General Ironwood. "Yes, my sweet, you can do the other one," he said.

There was a sudden flash of light in the chamber. A red portal appeared. Raven Branwen stepped out.

Neo stiffened. Roman raised his cane.

Raven lifted the unconscious General Ironwood into her arms. She stepped through the portal. It closed behind her.

"Huh," said Roman. "Well, maybe they have a, you know, a thing."

Neo shrugged. She conjured a portal of her own – something she could do, now that the protective hieroglyphics had been removed from the walls of the vault.

"All things considered," said Roman as they stepped through, "not a bad day at all."

END


End file.
